Preparing for the loss of your dog
Katharine Brunsch 
Blog by Angela Garner, Animal Bereavement Support Specialist and Author of 'When it's Time to say Goodbye'
Table of Contents:
| 1. How do you prepare for the death of a Canine Companion? |
| 2. Talking to your vet. |
| 3. Creating an advanced end-of-life plan. |
| 4. Support and more information. |
1. How do you prepare for the death of a Canine Companion?
How do you prepare for the death of a beloved canine companion? The first thing to say is that feelings of grief can start as soon as you know that your pet is coming to the end of his or her life. This anticipatory grief can cause a number of uncertainties as well as the very understandable emotional turmoil and fear that goes with such a loss. As I describe from my own experience:
“My elderly dog Rufus became seriously ill – lethargy and refusing to eat were the first flashing red warning signs that all was not well, and so frequent vet visits began. Initially, the clinical examination could only hone the problem down to his lungs, and although he was put on antibiotics and pain relief, I did not know if the medication was really helping him. Everything in me was screaming to understand what was happening – was my dog suffering, and could anything be done to help him? I found myself see-sawing between despair and hope with increasing anxiety about wanting to do what was best for this beautiful little dog who had graced my life for 13 years. When he was kept at the vet practice to have intravenous fluids, the house felt hauntingly empty, and each night as I lay in bed listening to his breathing, I wondered if it was our last one together. I began to feel the stability of my life as I knew it, in which my little dog was central, falling apart. I dreaded having to say Goodbye but desperately wanted to avoid him suffering if his death was inevitable in the near future – it was a roller-coaster of emotions which I simply had to ride out – and it hurt.”
The question is how to get through this while doing the absolute best for your dog. Rather than be totally overwhelmed by the process, there are things you can do to help both your dog and yourself through this distressing time.
2. Talking to your vet
Having an open and honest conversation with the vet about your dog’s situation is a good place to start, which is not easy when your emotions threaten to overwhelm you. To help you stay focused, take some time to think through and write down any questions you have before your next visit to the vet. If it helps, talk it through with someone in the family or a close friend, as often it’s easier to articulate what’s on your mind by speaking it out loud. Initially, you might need to find out what the case is and what options you need to consider, for example:
WHAT I NEED TO ASK ABOUT MY PET’S PROGNOSIS
- Can you do anything to help my pet to comfortably live longer, such as surgery or medical treatment?
- What would my pet go through, e.g. how would they feel during the treatment?
- How long do you think the treatment would give them?
- Without any treatment, how long do you think my pet will live before they need to be put to sleep?
- What would you do if this was your pet?
Later on, there may be other issues to ask about, such as:
FINDING OUT WHAT TO EXPECT AS TIME PROGRESSES
- What should I expect as time progresses?
- What changes may I see in how my pet behaves as they get weaker?
- How will I know if my pet is in pain?
- What can I do about it?
- Are there any side effects from their medication?
- What will help keep my pet more comfortable?
These important conversations will help you build a clearer picture so that you can start to form a plan to make sure that, when the time comes to say goodbye, your dog’s end of life is as timely and peaceful as possible.
3. Creating an advanced end-of-life plan
Having a well-thought-through advanced end-of-life plan gives you the best chance to make decisions based on what you feel is right for your companion. For example, Katharine actually shared with me how she made sure her vet knew in advance that she definitely wanted a home visit for euthanasia and gave the vet practice clear directions to her home so they could find her easily when that time came. Another person was adamant that her dog would need sedation prior to being put to sleep at home, so this was discussed with the vet well in advance.
There are a number of areas you might need to consider, which are listed below:
- Your resources – time, money and energy needed to care for your dog during the final part of his or her life.
- Euthanasia – whether to have this at home (if possible) or at the practice. And if you want to ask someone to be with you at the time to support you.
- Sedation – to discuss with the vet whether your dog will benefit from having sedation by injection prior to the euthanasia injection.
- Comfort – is there a special blanket or cushion that would help your dog to be more comfortable when put to sleep?
- Giving everyone a chance to say goodbye beforehand – young people at university, children at school, family members working away from home.
- Preparing children for the loss – so that they are not shocked when the time comes.
- Special requests – you may want to keep a snippet of fur or have a paw-print taken to create a memorial later on.
- Taking care of your pet’s body after death – to plan ahead for burial or cremation (individual or communal) so that you’re not rushed into a decision you later regret.
- Finding support – you may wish to seek emotional support from a close friend or through a pet bereavement organisation so that you’re not facing this alone.
These points are covered in more detail in my book: “When It’s Time to Say Goodbye – Preparing for the Transition of Your Beloved Pet”, along with what to expect during euthanasia and how to cope with the aftermath of bereavement.
4. Support and more information.
You may find it helpful to listen to podcasts at Ease Animals, where there are various pet bereavement support resources, including supporting children through pet loss, which are free to download.
It is recognised that these are difficult issues to think about and talk about, but it does help to prepare your mind and heart for what is inevitably going to happen in the days, weeks or months ahead.
Please visit www.petlosspress.com for more support and information.
Thank you to Angela Garner for taking the time to share her knowledge and experience with Canine Support. Saying goodbye to any Canine Companion is a difficult experience, something I have had to do several times now and to know there is so much support out there is very reassuring. I highly recommend Angela Garner's book 'When it's time to say goodbye', and you can always reach out to me for support, Katharine xx
In loving memory of all our Canine Companions at Rainbow Bridge xx
Angela has also written another Blog about Caring for a Grieving Dog, which I have personally experienced twice now with my own dogs. It can be difficult when your dogs are such close friends, and it was the loss of Jinx that made Keto reactive to everything around her. It was an extremely difficult time for both of us, but over time we healed together and developed the most amazing bond through Tellington TTouch.